I have a bit of an issue with card stores. I spend up to an hour plucking cards from the shelves until I find the perfect one. Often I cannot find that perfect one, and I leave the store annoyed with the greeting card people. Why don’t they write what I want to say? And why must they add all sorts of crafty do-dads to the cards so that they can charge $7.99?
I came up empty last week, while I was searching for a card for my mother’s big birthday this weekend. I won’t tell you her age in case she wants to keep it a secret, but it ends in a zero and starts with a number that rhymes with heaven. Since the greeting card industry cannot meet my needs, I am composing her card right here, blog-style. I’ll creatively call it:
For my mother, on her birthday
I am all these things because of you, Mom:
- a planner
- a faithful calendar user
- a reader
- a chocolate lover
- a loyal friend
- a good mother
Because of you, these are all the things I’m not:
- a procrastinator
- socially awkward
- a fan of cottage cheese (when you used to eat it for lunch the smell made me gag)
- the kind of gal who leaves her sheets on the bed for weeks at a time
- an impulse buyer
- a slob
Life lessons I learned from my mother
If you serve it on your own plate, it counts as homemade.
The most wonderful sound in the world is that of m&m’s being poured into a bowl.
It’s okay to laugh at yourself.
Loving other people doesn’t use up space in your heart; it makes room for more love.
Carry a coupon envelope in your purse; you never know when you may need one.
Give compliments freely, but give your opinion only when asked.
Maintaining friendships take time and effort, but they are worth it.
You aren’t fully dressed without your earrings.
If you shower unconditional love on your child, she will grow up to realize how lucky she is to be your daughter.
Happy birthday, Mom – I luv you! Now please excuse me while I head to the card store – it’s only two weeks until Mother’s Day.